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Give them childhood by fighting Hollywood
By Deirdre Reilly/Columnist
Fri Aug 17, 2007, 04:54 PM EDT
As summer wanes and families enjoy their last few weeks together without the stress of school schedules, I find it is time for my yearly “Plea to Parents” (although, as I look back through my column files, it seems to be more like a semi-annual plea!). The plea involves children, and childhood, and how they naturally go together, and how you — parent, guardian, aunt, uncle, or friend — fit into that. The name of the game is innocence, and it is disappearing. You hold the key to bringing it back.
Item number one, for your consideration: in the past, when kids had no money to spend and were not a desirable marketing demographic, and before the expansion of cable programming, children watched shows like “Full House” or “Brady Bunch,” that starred kids of all ages, and showed situations that were reasonable for a 7- or 8-year-old or even younger to experience: What do I do when I tell a lie? How do I tell my mom I wrecked my new bike? Is it okay to be very sad when our dog dies? These were the topics handled by these family shows.
The wonderful Mr. Rogers spoke specifically to younger kids in the best example of children’s programming, and gently taught children what being a good person meant. He talked about the joys of being neighborly, he taught us how to resolve conflict and deal with hard emotions, he fed fish. He respected children as they were, at their age and ability.
Today, shows that children under 10 typically watch star teenagers who are resolving teen conflicts, usually surrounding dating. The next time your under-10 child sits down to watch some “kid TV,” ask yourself: how old are the kids in the show he or she is watching? I think you will find that your child does not watch any shows with kids his or her actual age. Your pre-teen child in not ready for subjects like dating (presented usually in a harsh, joking manner), and yet is sitting there, soaking it in, trying to digest this strange new world.
You are the grown-up; you make the rules. I know it’s easier to let them sit there watching; there’s always laundry, and bills, and you can do it in peace if they are occupied, but for their sake, turn it off. Turn it off! You know that a lot of television is pure garbage, so control the flow of it in your home.
Item number two: a great example of the total in-your-face disdain of Hollywood for the well being of your child is happening right now in the marketing of the new movie, “The Simpsons.” The movie is rated PG-13, but Burger King is giving away Simpsons toys in their Kids’ Meals! Their message is blatant: we know your kid isn’t anywhere near 13 if they’re eating a Kids’ Meal, but we also know you won’t put any thought into this, and will take them to see this movie anyway, so what the heck! Have a nugget and a Bart, dummies! Fight this, parents. Don’t be part of the merchandising chain. Your kid is their target, and they are counting on you not caring.
Item number three: Young kids and music. Young kids are routinely listening to aggressive rap and disheartening, callous pop, piped into their little brains through their personal iPod earphones, uploaded by parents and siblings who aren’t thinking. A suggestion: listen to your child’s music selections often, deleting any that are inappropriate for kids. You bought that player, so don’t worry about it! Delete away! Pick out some music together that is more appropriate for small ears.
A lot of parents say, “those lyrics go right over her head anyway,” but it’s not just the lyrics — music can evoke even without words some very deep feelings — that is what music does! Your kids are feeling the vibe of the song (aggressive, depressed, angry) even if they don’t understand the words. Why not spare the child you love so much from experiencing these emotions until they have to?
So, that’s the sermon, given by someone who doesn’t have all the answers, and has made many mistakes in parenting. One thing I promised myself, though years ago — I was going to try to give each of my kids a true childhood. They were going to sleep well at night, and notice the sky above them, and think childish thoughts for as long as they could. I wanted them to ask, “how does that firefly light up like that?” instead of, “I wonder if that boy and girl are dating?” for as long as possible. Childhood is free, but only you can give it to your kids — it’s the something they can’t give to themselves. Open your eyes and ears, and start giving the gift that will last your kid a lifetime. All of society will benefit.
Deirdre Reilly of Reading is the author of "Exhausted Rapunzel — Tales of Modern Castle Life," a collection of her family humor columns available at opinebooks.com.
