North Shore -

It’s time once again for me to look back on my predictions from 12 months ago, in order to see whether my keen journalistic insight served me well in prognosticating the major events for the coming year, or if I was, as usual, talking out of an opening not typically equipped for human speech.

So let’s see what I had to say about 2006:

• “Buoyed by their own high moral standards and public support for the president, Republicans will easily stave off Democratic challengers come November. Let’s face it, is there anything conservatives can’t do?”

A little off on this one … But how was I supposed to know the entire Republican Congress would self-destruct? A year ago I would have thought “macaca” was a type of Volkswagen.

• “In agreement with the concept of ‘the more the merrier,’ America will unite in its universal acceptance of guests from other lands, particularly the ones who snuck here under cover of darkness.”

Apparently we’re a little more discerning than I thought about whom we want in this country. But that’s not to say there hasn’t been compromise — for instance, it’s very likely the border wall won’t have snipers on it.

• “Saddam Hussein will be acquitted of all charges, prompting him to retire to Miami and write a ‘hypothetical’ book called, ‘If I Did … Murder Thousands of Kurds.’”

Oops, wrong murderer. I guess it’s good that Saddam wasn’t tried in Los Angeles, where the defense would have managed to assemble a jury consisting of every Baathist in the greater L.A. area.

• “Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will finally turn things around in Iraq, prompting President Bush to declare that he’s doing a ‘heckuva job.’”

Darn it … I should have known I was off when Rumsfeld was overheard saying how bummed he was he couldn’t have been secretary back when it was called the “Department of War.” OK, I just made that up.

• “Al Gore will become the year’s surprise movie star for his turn in ‘Basic Instinct 2.’”

I’ll take half credit for this one. It actually worked out much better, since we didn’t have to see him without pants. If only we could have said the same about Sharon Stone …

• “iPod who? Apple’s music player is forgotten as music fans trample each other for their very own Microsoft Zune.”

OK, so there were still a few iPods sold this year. But I’m sure a lot of people also bought Zunes, to go along with their Betamaxes and 1958 Edsels.

• “Move over, Mariah: This year’s big comeback will belong to Britney, who will harness her marital bliss into her biggest hit album in years.”

Well, this might have been true, had she stayed married and/or released an album. But I was correct in my other Britney prediction, the one about her not wearing bloomers.

• “This one’s a no-brainer: Better get there early if you want a seat for what’s bound to be the runaway movie hit of the year — ‘Snakes on a Plane’!”

Damn that Internet!

• “The Boston Red Sox will turn heads throughout the sports world when they drop $50 million just for the rights to talk to Andrew Dice Clay.”

Ooh, close one! In the end they were probably better off talking to Daisuke instead, even if his clever poems about Jack and Jill fail to translate well from the Japanese.

• “Google will buy YouTube, the new Web site where people can upload videos of their laughing babies for, I don’t know … $1.65 billion?”

Apparently Google doesn’t know sarcasm when they hear it.

Peter Chianca is a CNC managing editor; visit his blog at chianca-at-large.blogspot.com. To receive At Large by e-mail, write to info@chianca-at-large.com, with the subject line “SUBSCRIBE.”