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Starting kindergarten, middle school, high school or college can be stressful for children and their parents. If there is a way, parents should make the adjustment appear as fun as possible, even if that means pretending.

"Back-to-school, starting a new grade, are both anxiety producing. If parents have a problem with back-to-school, the kids will, too," said Tim Drew, child and adolescent child psychologist at OSF Saint Francis Medical Center in Peoria, Ill.

The weeks leading up to the big day are very important for transition.

"Make shopping for binders and folders and paper, make that exciting. Kids look forward to that," Drew said.

About two weeks before school starts, Drew said, younger children should get in the routine of bedtime and older children should kick their summer habits.

As a father, Drew has devised his own ways to ensure lugging that backpack around again doesn't feel like such a load. His process involves grilled hamburgers, crisp fries and "to-die-for milkshakes."

"Parents should have a tradition sometime before the kids start school," he said. "They need something to tell them, 'This is different now.' Kids deal with these anxieties best with familiarity and routine."

For children starting their first-ever day of school, Drew says it would be wise to start a tradition of taking a photo moments before they head off. The tricky part, at least very early on, is keeping from getting misty-eyed.

Simply, Drew said, hold those tears, Mom and Dad.

Of course, the issues during adjustment for an incoming college freshman are much different than that of a child about to enter grade school. The older a child gets, the tougher the adjustment.

"Little people, little problems," Drew likes to say. "The consequences for a 19-year-old who doesn't fit in are much greater. ... They are alone in a dorm room and their problems are bigger."

But, when it boils down, the 6-year-old has the same fear as the 19-year-old.

"They all worry about making friends," Drew said.

Parents aren't helpless, either, in spotting problems that stem from beginning something new in school. The symptoms are noticeable, but they can be subtle.

Symptoms for younger children include stalling before bedtime or having fears about going to sleep, not because they can't sleep but "because they know what happens after bedtime - school," Drew said. In teens and college-aged students, the symptoms are more severe, such as depression, loss of interest in things they once enjoyed, avoidance and withdraw.

A common misstep by parents is they - because of their nature - come to the rescue too quickly and too often. Children, even young ones, Drew said, need small doses of depression and sadness so they "can build up an immunity to it later on."

"Kids need to have bumps and bruises," Drew said. "If they don't, they'll never learn how to say hello to a stranger in the cafeteria and meet friends."

As director of student development and health services at Bradley University, Ray Zarvell has seen many those teens.

To generalize, the generation entering and currently in college, the "millennials," is a generation that has had parents who are oversupportive. Similar to Drew's warning, Zarvell believes the students "don't have the confidence they need."

"We try to help parents understand that students are going to call and complain, but all that is aversion," Zarvell said. "Probably 99 percent of time the students will unload on their parents and hang up and be fine because they unloaded. But now parents will be upset."

The students who adjust the best are ones who are involved in a job, club or organization. Further, they are the ones who find themselves having higher grades and just generally enjoying college life more. Studies, Zarvell said, show that the average student spends only 15 hours per week in class.

No matter the age, when confronted with some issues, parents should practice patience.

"Anxiety decreases with time," Drew said. "Each day gets easier."

Getting back to the routine

Here are some tips from scholastic.com on how to ease the transition from summer to September - for both you and your child:

- Start a leisurely bedtime routine. Schedule the evening to include quiet time together, reading, a bath, and some bedtime snuggling. Or just talking. Be sure your child is getting enough sleep - eight to 10 hours per night. Give your child "brain food," especially something for breakfast each morning.

- Remember, too, that children hate to be rushed. Encourage your child to get things ready the night before, and keep all supplies on hand.

- Adjust your schedule to spend time in your child's classroom. Squeeze a little more time out of each day to enjoy one another with a walk or a board game.