Church group of 50 years shares views on aging, friendship

Lloyd and Isabell Allen in their retirement help care for their grandchildren.

January 28, 2007: A group of about 20 adults, no longer young, gather at the Harding home for prayer and fellowship, as they have at each other’s homes almost weekly since that night long ago.

Their numbers have expanded to more than 30 and shrunk to less than 20, but for more than 50 years, these friends from the Fort Square Presbyterian Church in Quincy have shared pilgrimage through life.

“Spiritual Secrets of Aging Mallwalkers and Old Friends” by Leonard W. Harding and Lloyd C. Allen records their stories, the challenges they have faced, and the lessons they have learned as they passed from youth to maturity, from middle age to their senior years, and, for some, to death and beyond.

“The basis of the book is their stories, how they reached retirement, their reactions, their problem,s and how they solved them,” said Harding, the oldest of the group at 84. “We talk about driving, health, relationships, children helping parents, travel, being able to use your time wisely, and not just sitting doing nothing.”

“We also take a shot at some of the more serious things in life: sickness, suffering, dying, death,” said Allen, 79. “We’ve lost a lot of friends in the last 10 years. We have a lot of widows. We understand their plight and try to talk about that.”

The authors, who have been friends for more than 30 years, conceived the idea of the book during early morning walks three times a week at the South Shore Plaza with members of their fellowship group.

“In the process of mallwalking, we talked about what we were living through, the aging process, growing old, health problems, housing, and insurance,” Allen said. “We strung all our stories together and ended up with our ‘Spiritual Secrets.’”

“It’s such a drastic change in life when you move into retirement. It’s not gradual,” Harding said. “The book covers a lot of topics.”

The experiences and musings of the authors and their group of friends are interspersed with selections from Scripture, quotations, and “lessons learned from e-mail.”

“With everybody we interviewed, we asked what their favorites are in Scripture and what are some of the things they lean upon for support,” Allen said. “The revelation I shared with a lot of my friends is from a book written by Lewis Shirrel, a Presbyterian pastor, that gave me the purpose for life: ‘Life is a pilgrimage. The destination is the Holy City, and the purpose is to seek God, to find Him, and to get to know Him.’”

“We have a great faith in Scripture. It was written for us,” Harding said. “Even though it was written over 2,000 years ago, it speaks to us today. If you’re looking, you can find answers to many of the things we are dealing with today.”

Among the experiences common to their generation are the Depression, military service or homefront life during World War II, raising children during the turbulent 60s, and dramatic changes in society and technology.

“Probably our most popular prayer is for our children. They are our greatest concern,” Allen said. “We feel it has become a dangerous world. We hold our breath and pray a lot.”

Harding and Allen have included a list of resources for seniors in their book and hope that readers will be inspired by the faith and support their group has shared for half a century.

“I hope they see where they could get help by looking at the traits of other people, reaching out for help, and being open to other people,” Harding said. “Not holding everything in, but being willing to let others know what’s going on.

“I would like people to gain some of the faith that Lloyd and I have from the book, knowing it’s something that is not way out there, but very close to you, something you can use in everyday life.”

Allen said he hopes that people will be inspired not so much by the book itself, as by the tenets of Christianity shared by the people in it.

“The biggest challenge in retirement, the thing you have to come to grips with, is diminishment, the things you can’t do. You have to give up the things of youth gracefully or ungracefully,” he said.

“As the house crumbles, the spirit grows strong in other ways. It’s not something to despair about.”

Both Allen and Harding are World War II Navy veterans and retired engineers who have always enjoyed writing as a hobby. Harding also earned a college degree in journalism.

Len and Patricia Harding, who have lived in Holbrook for more than 50 years, have three daughters and seven grandchildren.

Lloyd and Isabell Allen are the parents of five children and have nine grandchildren. They lived in Braintree for 30 years and recently moved to Fitchburg.

“Spiritual Secrets of Aging Mallwalkers and Old Friends” can be ordered directly from the publisher's online bookstore at www.publishamerica.com. It is also available online from www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com or by order from Barnes and Noble bookstores. The ISBN is 1-4241-4681-X.